“Man is insecure and involved in natural contingency; he seeks to overcome his insecurity by a will-to-power which overreaches the limits of human creatureliness. Man is ignorant and involved in the limitations of a finite mind; but he pretends that he is not limited. He assumes that he can gradually transcend finite limitation until his mind becomes identical with the universal mind. All of his intellectual and cultural pursuits, therefore, become infected with the sin of pride. Man’s pride and will-to-power disturb the harmony of creation.”—Reinhold Niebuhr

What is it that makes the world as flawed as it is? It is the pride of man. Man’s thought that he can by his own virtue better the world causes strife among men. Though he is limited, he asserts himself as limitless—a finite mind declaring itself better than the one with an infinite mind: God. The story of Christianity is one of an infinite being showing finite beings their flaws, and that they are unable of fixing these flaws. However, God also shows these finite beings that, while they are unable to fix themselves, he is capable of it. It is man’s admission of his inability to fix himself that fixes him in the eyes of God—humility, for the purpose of exaltation.

In his song, “City Love,” John Mayer gives us a line which, if you unpack it, has some interesting aspects to it. 

The line is quite simple. It’s not even a full sentence. Just a fragment:

“Falling asleep to the sound of sirens.”

It is true. To those who live in the city, the sound of sirens in the distance is a peaceful, relaxing one—easy to fall asleep to. To the one far away from the sirens, they are a messenger of peace. 

Sirens mean something quite different for the people who are the reasons for the sirens, however. To the policeman, paramedic, or firefighter, sirens only come with a sense of hurried urgency. As well, to the person at the destination of the emergency personnel, the sirens are harbingers of hard times and suffering.

It is interesting how a single sound can at once bring both peace and chaos, depending on perspective. This is also an interesting commentary on the way humans grow accustomed to circumstances. People know that sirens mean chaos in one perspective, but they accept this and let it mean peace in their own perspective. For our own sanity, we all accept other people’s bad circumstances as being “part of life.” We feel secure enough in the midst of chaos to sleep through it, and even consider it peaceful and soothing.

Every year I seem to come to a point of re-evaluation. Throughout my time at JBU, I have known only one thing for certain: at one point, God wanted me here for some reason. I had no idea what major he would want me to choose. So, Freshman year, I started with Renewable Energy. I got mediocre grades in two classes that semester, and I re-evaluated what major I was supposed to be. I knew I was good at two things: music and writing papers. In my situation, I most likely would not have been able to pay off my college loans with the job I would get with a worship ministry degree, so that was out. I didn’t want to be an English major, so that was out. What other major writes lots of papers? History! Perfect! I like history. What can you do with a history degree, though? Why, teach, of course! So, Sophomore year, my major was Social Studies Education. However, I found out I really did not like the Education department. So, it is now my Junior year, and I am just a History major. My first semester this year went great. I got good grades in all my classes related to history, and decent grades in the classes not related to it. This semester, things were going to be even better. I was going to kick the habit of being disorganized and forgetful. That’s not exactly what happened. My grades in Spanish have had several hiccups and one horrible test, but even though a foreign language is required for my major, it is not directly related to it.

At least I was doing okay in all my history classes…until now. What am I supposed to do when I fail at one of the two things I am good at (writing papers)? When I say fail, I mean it in the most literal sense. I recently received the graded copy of my most recent paper (worth a huge portion of the points in that class, by the way) with a note attached that began, “Chuck—You are capable of university-level work.”

“Of course I am!” I thought. “I am a Junior! This is my third year to be doing this! My GPA isn’t a 4.0, but it’s not bad by any means, either! I don’t need reassurance that I am ready for college at this point!” 

But maybe I do.

I thought this was what I was supposed to be good at. But I failed. And in the semester when I was going to kick my disorganized procrastination habit, no less. Even after the points he is going to let me make up, the highest I will be able to get on this paper is still a low C. This combined with all the other bad grades I’ve been getting this semester were like a punch to the gut, and I must say, it’s quite a depressing punch at that.

So now the question, what the heck am I doing here? You’ll notice that in all my decision making for what major to pick, I never felt like God was specifically telling me a specific major to choose. I still don’t know what God wants me to do. I only know two things: I know that three years ago he wanted me to be at JBU, and I know that this summer I am supposed to work at Falls Creek. That’s it. Those are literally the only two things I know about God’s will at this point. What do I do? I can’t just give up; that’s three years wasted, plus I have to do something with my life. But I’m not as convinced as I used to be that I know what I should be doing with my life. 

Mom and Dad are going to hate this post, but I’m just not sure of anything anymore. Don’t worry, Mom and Dad. I’m not dropping out or anything. I just wish God would show me what I’m supposed to be doing.

As you may know, recently I have been helping lead worship at the Loft at First Baptist Church here in Siloam Springs. I’m still very new there, so I’m still at the point where finding a place to sit in the main service is sometimes kinda tough. So I decided to go back to the dorm after college group and before the main service. I loaded my things in the Jeep, started it, and began to drive away. But before I had moved 15 feet, the engine began to sputter and cough—I was out of gas. I pulled into a parking spot and figured that for some reason, God wanted me in that church service. When I went in, it was the time when the pastor says to turn and greet someone. In order to make small talk, the lady in the pew in front of me said, “Boy, you squeaked in at the last second there, didn’t you?” So I told her why I was late. When the service was over, she asked if I needed some help. I asked if she had a gas can, and she said no, but asked the person next to her. By the time five minutes was up, practically 30% of the church was looking for someone with a gas can, and someone was already on his way back to his house to get one—filled to the brim with gas! Perhaps this is why God wanted me in that service. To see the actions of those people who treated me as though I had been going to that church since the time I was five.

Earlier, I posted a photo about how guns are not the cause of crime. The logic of the photo was flawed, and I pointed this out in the caption. (Really? You’re comparing a flash drive to a gun? Come on.) The post was reblogged a couple of times, and probably will be a couple more times. Some who reblogged the photo, however, only reblogged the photo and deleted the caption pointing out the logical flaws. If my caption says something like, “Be sure to read the following,” please keep that part when you reblog it! When it has only the photo (in all its flawed glory) with my name next to it, it looks as though I agree completely with the logic. Anyways, that’s my little soapbox. I’m stepping off now.

Look at this, guys. Most Christians know or have heard Romans 8:28. It goes a little something like this:

“And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.” (ESV)

Usually, the coolest thing people notice about this verse is that everything works together for the good of those who love God. Which is awesome. But check this out: the Christian’s life has definite purpose. He or she serves a very specific function in God’s plan. All things work together for the good not only of the individual who loves God, but since that individual serves a specific role in God’s plan, the events in his life serve to bring about God’s plan. That means that the events in his life work together for the good of him, the good of God (and his plan), and, therefore, everyone who loves God! How’s that for community, huh?! I don’t know, maybe you guys had already thought of that verse like that, but it blew my mind a little bit.